“Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.” -James 1:8
Toiling on a decision is completely draining. For example, my decisions on which college to attend and what my first job should be were exhausting. I remember being stressed from the weight and impact of those choices and honestly not being sure which was the right choice.
On the other hand, choosing my spouse was easy. I absolutely knew Hannah was the right one for me.
You may find yourself with divided loyalty in your relationship with God. Yes, you love God. But you are not willing to let go of the world. This is the great battle for your soul. This is the place of spiritual exhaustion.
Divided loyalty to God results in great misery. We may even say, “Is this even worth it?” This is when we choose sinful actions and habits. We are tired and worn down. But one thing we have to understand is that a place of complete loyalty to God is a place of rest and peace. Our mind is made up and we will not go back.
I love the old hymn that says, “I have decided to follow Jesus.” The song is based on the last words of a 19th century man in northeast India who was faced with a choice: renounce Christ or die. Even amidst threats on his family he said, “Though no one joins me, still I will follow.” He was executed while singing, “The cross before me, the world behind me.” This was a man whose mind was made up. His boldness reportedly led to the village chief’s conversion to Christ.
Make up your mind and lean on the stability of Christ though your loyal and singular devotion to Him. What is the statement that your life is making: “My loyalty is divided” or “I have decided”? I pray that it is, “I have decided.”